spaghetti, 5/3/09

Jameson states, “the underside of culture is blood, torture, death, & horror” (485). i believe this particular quote to be applicable to our class discussion on tuesday and to Cixous' essay.

While biological differences in men and women and undeniable, there is a difference in the socialization of gender behavior norms. It cuts deeper than snide comments about cooking dinner and cleaning house. Jameson's quote about the dark underside of culture is certainly indicative of masculine socialization. I had a friend who was asleep in her bed last week and a group of boys came in and woke her up calling her a bitch, and commenting on her physical appearance negatively. Then they proceeded to talk about doing graphic and degrading sexual acts to her as she pretended to sleep, too afraid to confront them and let them know she was present. There is nothing in feminine socialization in our culture that promotes violent or hateful acts towards others. In our culture it is acceptable and even “normal” for men to be violent towards other men and women. We hear songs on the radio from male rappers and singers about killing other people, torturing them, and the most common—performing sexual acts not with but upon women. It kills me that all of the songs that are so popular in social settings not just at Rollins but in other college communities. It breaks my heart to hear girls proudly singing along to these songs alongside their male friends and boyfriends, having a good time, thinking they look cool and could be considered "one of the guys" as a result. So many of the songs they play in clubs or at parties have these graphic images. It is rare to hear a song from a female artist citing the same things. For example, Taylor Swift’s songs are about fairy tales and Miley Cyrus’ about about uphill battles.

Those attitudes pervasive in cultural outlets such as popular music permeate into our everyday lives and interactions. That is evident in the story of my friend asleep in her dorm room. We act in certain ways because we have learned these actions. I can't imagine a parent encouraging his or her son to act in a violent manner or to speak negatively and degradingly about women. These things are normalized in our culture. I'm not going to say that music is the only reason that male socialization is coupled with violent tendencies. There are obviously many factors that play into that.

I am going to ask, in the spirit of Cixous, (and with apologies to Lyotard): women...spread a reign of terror on the radio. Don't sing along, don't act like you think it's funny to talk about sexually assaulting and raping a woman simply because of her sex, don't call your best friend a whore as a term of endearment, don't give your approval to this. If being entertained means being in agreement, then detach yourself from this form of entertainment and deconstruct it for all of its meanings. I don't mean to shoot down the industry or freedom of creativity/expression/feeling/whatever abstract word you want to use in order to attempt to justify your disrespectful message, I am simply calling upon women, to abandon this behavior. It is upsetting to see a group marginalized by certain forms of media and entertainment in our culture taking part in their own degradation. By refraining to challenge these messages of hatred for our own kind, women are giving that effort their support. Acts of sexual violence are terrifying. I would argue that in some aspects, that underside of culture is violence directed toward women and expecting men to support this as well. It hurts me to know that some women are spitting out these lyrics and joking with their guy friends about things like this. Why do we take part in that? What is so desirable about being "one of the guys?" Why do we do our very hardest, as women, to appeal to men as both a laid-back girl who can hang out and as an unattainable sex object? Don;t say that we don't....if that were the case, push-up bras, make-up, and perfume among other things wouldn't exist.

It has become culturally acceptable and even preferable for women to dehumanize themselves. We shave our legs and arms, we wear deodorant and perfume, we buy control top panty hose and shaping undergarments, we wear make-up to hide our blemishes, we bleach our teeth to hide the stains that come from a process necessary for life: eating and drinking, we straighten and curl our hair in order to play a hand in the game of woman v. nature and attempt to defy our genetic make-up. I could go on for days. Men do not shave their armpits, they have no shame in their bodily functions and in fact often feel the need to draw attention to them. Men wear loose-fitting clothing and are considered "metrosexual" if they moisturize their face. Why are women so committed to appearing unhuman and yet acting in a way that makes them "just one of the guys?" Why do we do it?! Is it just the nature of our capitalist society? Is it the product of gender socialization? is it merely a specific mystery existent only in our culture? Either way, I have a lot of opposition to it and yet I still shave my legs, wear deodorant, make-up etc. Perhaps i am just the prime example of one who considers oneself outside of ideology and yet is operating deep within it. I have a lot of questions and strong opinions about the way that men and women are expected to act and treat one another. I just ask that others become thinkers, and question how these expectations got to be as well. Perhaps if everyone is aware, then the artist can still express him or herself freely, and in response the people would take his or her message for what it really is and not adhere to it as a life guideline for social interaction.